Discharge: Rants and Reflections of an Ob/Gyn Resident

Thursday, December 14, 2006

Grey's Anatomy

I recently sent my blog website to an old friend from college who encouraged me to write more. Therefore, I will try to write more frequently.

A nurse recently asked if residency was anything like Grey's Anatomy. Well, let's see. On Grey's Anatomy, an intern dates an attending. In my program, an attending dated TWO residents, both at the same time, without them knowing about each other. On Grey's Anatomy, residents date each other. In my program, two residents not only dated, but recently got married. It doesn't stop there. In my program a hoochie female resident gave a middle-aged, married attending a pair of boxer shorts for Christmas. In my program, two residents got caught doing the horizontal tango in the call rooms. Is my residency like Grey's Anatomy? I don't think so. No one could make this stuff up.

Now for some updates. The intern in a previous blog who was using booty calls as an anti-depressant is now a third year and happily MARRIED (to a different guy). Her classmates are terrified that she will have a baby during residency, and with good reason. Girlfriend is secretly working on that project as I type. Why the secrecy? No one wants their fellow resident to have a baby because it takes them out of work, thus increasing the workload for everyone else. Selfish? Probably. Let he who regularly works 30 hours straight cast the first stone.

My friend who was dating the guy who goes to the LI-BERRY instead of the library is still dating old dude. He now attends her family gatherings like Thanksgiving and Christmas. My friend says that he is super nice and treats her well, but she is still caught up on the class issue. I think she will end up marrying him. She could do a lot worse. She could be with one of my exes.

My Puerto Rican classmate (previously referred to as "PR") who was banging nurses in deserted stairwells is now married to another resident. He seems to worship the ground she walks on. He recently told me that all his beloved had to do to ensure his future happiness was to "stay blond". I'm not kidding. She's a nice girl but has some, er, psych issues. If you look up "bipolar" in DSMV-IV you'll see her picture. Girlfriend had to take time off a few months ago when she cracked up and was on suicide watch. But more importantly, she never changed her hair color.

Practically the day after I wrote my last entry my magnanimous boyfriend broke up with me. It was cool because I had already decided he was a Mr. Right Now and was wondering how I could unhitch him without hurting his feelings. I shouldn't have worried. He ended up dumping me for a surgeon which was astonishing because 1) what were the chances of him dating two black female doctors successively? and 2) ol' dude was dumb as a box of rocks. He was, however, incredibly good-looking.

Then lickety-split I started dating a wonderful man that a friend fixed me up with. He was significantly older and had a 12 year old son that he co-parented with his baby mama. He was smart, emotionally mature and kind. Within months, we were engaged. Then he broke the devastating news that he changed his mind about wanting more children. Since kids are one of the main reasons I want to get married, I knew we had to part ways. We had a painful, but civilized break-up.

That's the update. Perhaps not as entertaining as Grey's Anatomy, but it's all true.